I have these waves of things going wrong. Im surfing one of these waves right now I wasted my gas doing crazy things that I needed to do that popped up last week. Im usually so busy I get gas and it has to last for as long as posible before I can go get it again. Well I didnt my first ever extracirricular activity at school and its misserable. I hate these peoples attitudes. I have such an aversion the the supervisor, who talks to the group as if we are 14. Most of these people are 18 to 23 but Im nearly 30. I just dont respond to being yelled at and threatened.
28 and in college is the story of my life. Always ahead in one way, behind in another. I rush to re-work a paper due today but skipping a class. That didnt help I had 15 minutes to get to the class I needed to do the paper for and rush to dress and realize I have to pack crap for the stupid extraciricular activity. What the hell!
I rush out to the car feeling like Im coming down with a cold or allergies maybe both! Car starts, car turns off. What? I wasnt paying attention I was looking through my bookbag to see If I had my wallet. Try again I think. CAr starts! Car turns off.
Out of gas. Was exhausted everynight and forgot to get gas, kept rushing home to finish homework before I got impossibly drowsy. Gas in the gararge! MAybe the other car will work? I go through the house grab keys get to the garage, try the car and its dead. I try to jump it, the jumper was dead. I try the other one, It works! Now try the car, its still dead, not enough power. I keep trying in vain. I stop I look for gas cans, Damn! theres three! Are they all gas? Are some for lawn mowers gas? Is that the same thing?
I choose one I go through the house, I stole a spout from anothe gas can and tried to attach it and fill the tank. Gas spills all over me. I try to adjust it. I repour, I get doused in gasoline. I remove the spout and just pour and get most of it in. The car turns on, the car stays on. I leave it there go back to the house and set down the can and grab my bag. I yell at my dog one final time to stop trying to break out of the kennel, as Ive noticed these few minutes going through the house back and forth I notice he has a guilty look and slobber all over the kennel door.
I go to the gas station, pump 20 bucks, It barely moves above "E". I rush to school, sing my current favourite song. I arrive at the parking garage, Ah my favorite spot. I Realize I have missed an hour of class. I just say its useless I do my make up in the car while in the parking garage. I look like death. That face treatment made my face red and ichy. great. Forgot my mineral foundation. great. I smell like gas.
I walk to class. I linger outside the door. I realize I need to go in, its dumb to stand there and come in as its ending to hand in the paper. I reheaerse differnt versions of I had car trouble, I ran out of gas sorry. I walk in. the girl next to me says we can turn in our papers 5 days from now. I want to die.
I sit through this baby class for 23 minutes and it feels like an hour. What will I tell the teacher? Class is over he says the paper is now due in 5 days because the printers at the library were broken. I go up to him hand mine in tell him sorry about coming late, I ran out of gas. He says thats not good. Plan ahead. I want to die a second death. I am his anti thesis. HE sitts theres with a manilla folder and lots of stacks all paperclipped together, a legal pad with the things he wants to cover, two pens, two extra paper clips and two cough drops, just in case.
He probably wont count me as present and the paper wasnt even due. I forgot to ask him if there were more handouts that I may have missed and once again, sing it ADELE, "Didnt I give it all?"
What the hell.
I go get a peach tea to type this, they are out of honey. Thats right. I used it when I came here last night. sigh. I go up to floor three try to make two appointments with advisors. hte systems down. naturally. now its time to show up to this after school activity. I havent showered in a week and a half. my feet are dirty from dancing barefoot. Im exhausted and out of underwear anyway, except for the fancy stuff. you know what I mean. I need to go to target. I need a bath. I need sleep. I need to get out college. I need a vacation. I need something to go right.
My laptop is dying.
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